Quotes: Humility. Humor.

The idea in bold-face print is a summary of the quote. The number after the topic is the page on which the quote was found.

Humility
Humility 157 "I am a tedious old fool analyzing the obvious…." Sinclair Lewis, Main Street.

Humility 419 Carol to Kennicott: "But I know it must have been pretty tiresome to have to live with anybody as perfect as I was." Sinclair Lewis, Main Street.

Humor
Humor 1386 At dinner at Circe's Place: guest or dinner? "…if we got to yonder palace, there can be no question that we shall make our appearance at the dinner table; but whether seated as guests or served up as food is a point to be seriously considered…will be better than starvation; particularly if one could be sure of being well fattened beforehand…."“Circe’s Palace” Hawthorne, Tanglewood Tales

Humor 1398 Turned to pigs, they wondered about the quality of bacon they would make. "If they had any human reason left, it was just enough to keep them wondering when they should be slaughtered, and what quality of bacon they should make." “Circe’s Palace” Hawthorne, Tanglewood Tales

Humor 1402 Nymphs with odd characteristics. "And the nymph with the sea-green hair made a courtesy down to the ground, and likewise bade him welcome; so did her sister with the bodice of oaken bark, and she that sprinkled dew-drops from her fingers’ ends, and the fourth one, with some oddity which I cannot remember." “Circe’s Palace” Hawthorne, Tanglewood Tales

Humor 1406 The trouble with changing humans into hogs is that they might corrupt other hogs. Ulysses: "They [the hogs] are hardly worth the trouble of changing them into the human form again; nevertheless, we will have done, lest their bad example should corrupt the other hogs." “Circe’s Palace” Hawthorne, Tanglewood Tales

Humor 279 "Everything human is pathetic; the secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in heaven." Mark Twain. 1897. Gross, ed. Oxford Book of Aphorisms.

Humor 141 "Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility." James Thurber. Portable Curmudgeon.

Humor 654 "Sometimes I think jokes are the only truly serious response to our absurd fates." P.J. Kavanagh. “Is It Alas, Yorick?” 1983. Gross, ed. Essays.

Humor 171 The severely bandaged soldier. "The soldier in white was constructed entirely of gauze, plaster and a thermometer, and the thermometer was merely an adornment left balanced in the empty dark hole in the bandages over his mouth early each morning and late each afternoon by Nurse Cramer and Nurse Duckett right up to the afternoon Nurse Cramer read the thermometer and discovered he was dead." Heller, Catch-22.

Humor 199 Officers, enlisted men, and God. Chaplain: "I just assumed you would want the enlisted men to be present since they would be going on the same mission.” Col. Cathcart: “Well, I don’t; they’ve got a God and a chaplain of their own, haven’t they?” Chaplain: “No, Sir.” Col. Cathcart: “You mean they pray to the same God we do?” Chaplain: “Yes, Sir.” Col. Cathcart: “And He listens?” Heller, Catch-22.

Humor 251 It's not whether you win or lose wars..... "You put so much stock in winning wars…the real trick lies in losing wars, in knowing which wars can be lost; Italy has been losing wars for centuries, and just see how splendidly we’ve done nonetheless; France wins wars and is in continual crisis; Germany loses and prospers." Heller, Catch-22.

Humorous technique 14 Contradiction. "One of the finest, least dedicated men in the whole world." Heller, Catch-22.

Humorous technique 22 "The dead man in Yossarian’s tent was simply not easy to live with." Heller, Catch-22.

Humorous technique 30 "Havermeyer was a lead bombardier who never missed; Yossarian was a lead bombardier who had been demoted because he no longer gave a damn whether he missed or not…had decided to live forever or die in the attempt." Heller, Catch-22.

Humorous technique 33 "I don’t want to make sacrifices; I want to make dough." Heller, Catch-22.

Humorous technique 37 "He had opposed his daughter’s marriage to Colonel Moodus because he disliked attending weddings." Heller, Catch-22.

Humorous technique 45 "Chief Halfoat: Racial prejudice is a terrible thing, Yossarian…really is…a terrible thing to treat a decent, loyal Indian like a nigger, kike, wop or spic." Heller, Catch-22.

Humorous technique 56 "He had lived innocuously for a little while and then had gone down in flame over Ferrara on the seventh day while God was resting." Heller, Catch-22.

Humorous technique 57 "His prowess on the Ping-Pong table was legendary, and Appleby won every game he started until the night Orr got tipsy on gin and juice and smashed open Appleby’s forehead with his paddle after Appleby had smashed back each of Orr’s first five serves." Heller, Catch-22.

Humorous technique 63 “Now I see,” said Milo, “Fruit is bad for your liver?” Yossarian: “No, fruit is good for my liver; that’s why I never eat any.” Heller, Catch-22.

Humorous technique 73 "Like Olympic medals and tennis trophies, all they [pennants] signified was that the owner had done something of no benefit to anyone more capably than everyone else." Heller, Catch-22.

Humorous technique 85 "Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them; with Major Major it had been all three." Heller, Catch-22.

Humorous technique 85 The most unimpressive. "Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was." Heller, Catch-22.

Humorous technique 86 Every one's misfortunes other than his own were expressions of God's will. "Major Major’s father had a Calvinist’s faith in predestination and could perceive distinctly how everyone’s misfortunes but his own were expressions of God’s will." Heller, Catch-22.

Humorous technique 88 "Since he had nothing better to do well in, he did well in school." Heller, Catch-22.

Humorous technique 106 "What could you do with a man who looked you squarely in the eye and said he would rather die than be killed in combat…?" Heller, Catch-22.

Humorous technique 140 "…impulsively recommended Major Major for promotion…rejected at once at Twenty-Seventh Air Force Headquarters by ex-PFC Wintergreen who scribbled a brusque, unsigned reminder that the Army had only one Major Major, Major Major, and did not intend to lose him by promotion just to please Colonel Cathcart." Heller, Catch-22.

Humorous technique 164 "You won’t marry me because I’m crazy, and you say I’m crazy because I want to marry you." Heller, Catch-22.

Humorous technique 197 "Why can’t we all pray for something good, like a tighter bomb pattern, for example…General Peckem feels it makes a much nicer aerial photograph when the bombs explode close together." Heller, Catch-22.

Humorous technique 217 "Major _____ de Coverley was an ominous, incomprehensible presence…everyone was afraid of him, and no one knew why…no one even knew Major _____ de Coverley’s first name because no one ever had the temerity to ask him." Heller, Catch-22.

Humorous technique 232 “ 'I’m not shouting!' Dobbs shouted louder." Heller, Catch-22.

Humorous technique 255 "…he did not hate his mother and father, even though they had both been very good to him." Heller, Catch-22.

Humorous technique 255 "Nately’s mother, a descendant of the New England Thorntons, was a Daughter of the American Revolution; his father was a Son of a Bitch." Heller, Catch-22.

Humorous technique 274 "There was no way of really knowing anything, he knew, not even that there was no way of really knowing anything." Heller, Catch-22.

Humorous technique 280 "The chaplain was sincerely a very helpful person who was never able to help anyone…." Heller, Catch-22.

Humorous technique 332 "Gen. Peckem: Dreedle’s on our side, and Dreedle is the enemy." Heller, Catch-22.

Humorous technique 357 "They were the most depressing group of people Yossarian had ever been with; they were always in high spirits." Heller, Catch-22.

Humorous technique 368 "…Orr’s whore…." Heller, Catch-22.

Humorous technique 376 "It doesn’t make sense; it isn’t even good grammar." Heller, Catch-22.

Humorous technique 379 "We didn’t get the bridge, but we did have a beautiful bomb pattern." Heller, Catch-22.